uh-oh

I tested yesterday, and it said I was still pregnant, but I woke up with cramps this morning.  I really hate this. 

Here We Go Again.....

Here we go again.... wasn't that a Dolly Parton song?  It is becoming my theme song.  Did the "pee-pee on a stick" thing this morning and it's positive.  Unfortunately, I just cannot get excited, and I am actually crying as I write this.  In fact, everytime I do think about it, I want to puke - not morning sickness, mind you, just nerves.  I think I am going to go to WalMart tomorrow and buy a ton of test strips so I can test every few days just to make sure I am still pregnant.  Waste of money, I'm sure, but think of it as my way of bolstering the economy.  Besides.... I need a warning before I see any more blood.  I don't know what I'm going to do if I loose this one, too.  (Positive thinking is waaaayyyyy over rated, especially when it comes to dead babies.)  But I've definately decided that I'm not seeing the gynie until I'm 8 or 9 weeks along.  I don't want to be fussed over because no amount of fussing is going to make this pregnancy stick, and it will just make it harder to deal with all of this if I should loose the baby.  Heck - we haven't even told our parents yet.... the last thing I need is my mom's advice telling me not to jump up and down. 

The Logic of Tots

Michael had just finished nursing and he got off my lap and began playing with his farm set that he got for his birthday.  He picked up the toy cow and very carefully inspected it and then got very upset.  He ran up to his Dad complaining that the cow had poohed: "Dad!... Cow!.... Poop!", while pointing to the cow's brown udders. George laughed and explained to Michael that the udders were not poop, but were where big people got milk from.  Michael got a very shocked look on his face and yelled out, "Dad!...  Cow! ...Suck!.....Suck, Dad!"

Our Little Engineer

Tonight, somehow, I think a good portion of all my physics knowledge escaped from my brain and seeped into my son's head.  For my part, I left the house with Michael and George to go to Lowes while forgetting to turn off the flame on the stove.  I had decided to get ahead of myself and start cooking tomorrow night's dinner.  By the time we got home, all the liquid had evaporated and the meat had turned to a crisp.  In fact, I have no idea how I am going to get the pot clean.  So now, not only am I not ahead on cooking meals, but I have to go out and grocery shop tomorrow.  Darn thermodynamics!  I was always better at theory rather than application...

My son, on the other hand, knocked the socks off my husband and I.  He is obsessed with the lawn mowers and snow blowers at Lowes.  In fact, the lawn care aisle is a destination in and of itself.  Well, he was playing on the riding lawn mowers and pushing the buttons and pulling levers, when he noticed that one snowblower had a crank on it.  When you turn the crank, it turned a coil that caused the blower tower to move - think gears in a clock.  After a few seconds of examinining the contraption, he turned to George and said, "This" (pointing to the coil) "turns this" (pointing to the tower).  Maybe I'm just excited cuz he's my kid and maybe every two year old can figure out stuff like that, but wow!  I'm impressed!  My son is a mechanical genious.

The Worms Go In.... The Worms Go Out

About a week ago, I walked outside and saw Michael playing on the driveway with George.  When Michael noticed me, he ran over to a particular spot and started calling me..... "Mom!  See!  Mom!  See!"  So I went over to look at what he was pointing to and he said, "Mom!  See!  Worm!  Mmmmm!  Lunch!"

I immediately went in the house and cooked him something to eat.

Waiting.....

So today is the day that I should be getting my period.  Of course, I cannot be certain since I have not had a full cycle since the last miscarriage, so I'm going to hold off with testing for a few more days.  The doctor told us to wait at least a month before trying again, but I decided not to listen.  After all, there were several months between each of the other miscarriages, so waiting obviously did no good.  Once I do find out that I am pregnant, though, the doctor wants to run blood tests on me every two days to track my hormone levels.  I am seriously thinking of declining.  Each blood test is $200 since insurance will not pick up any maternity costs until April.  Since the blood tests might only reveal the cause of the miscarriage (if it were to happen again) and not do anything to prevent the baby from dying, I really don't see the point in spending a couple thousand dollars.  Instead, a friend of mine suggested getting a thyroid test.  Unfortunately, I don't have a regular doctor out here, so I'll ask my ob for the test when I do find out that I am pregnant again. 

Michael's Favorite Foods

Michael started eating another really strange food today, so I decided to start keeping track of all the weird stuff he eats.

Whole cranberries, straight from the bag, no sugar added
Mustard, straight from the bottle with a spoon
Dijon mustard
Broccoli (this was actually one of his first favorites)
Cinnamon
Onions (he peels them and eats them like apples)
Raw potatoes
Dark chocolate
Hot cocoa, with very little sugar
Lemons (he eats them like oranges)
Green tea with mint is his favorite drink
Dill pickles, the more garlic the better
Chives, parsley, and basil straight from the garden

I'm sure I'll think of more later.  He likes regular food, too, but these are definitely some of his favorites.